Is anybody interested in some continuous rambling?

We have a dog leash. It says, “SPOILED ROTTEN DOG” all over it. This morning Hugo was thinking about it and asked Cassidy, “Why does it say, ‘DEAD DOG SQUOOSH’?”

It’s Wednesday morning and I’m having my coffee and adjusting myself from asleep to awake. Papa’s checking orders for the delivery I have to make today up to Belfast (or somewhere else ridiculously far that I don’t know how to get to). If you were here, you’d be adjusting your face (blink………………………………….blink……blink…..) slouchy on the couch. You’d be absentmindedly petting some pet and looking out at the start of the day.

I’m about to head out to do the animal chores. The 30 teenage chickens are living in the A-frame chicken tractor in the backyard. They are always thrilled to be let out in the morning. Prince enjoys beating up Bossy (aka Rock & Roll) while they are all still stuck in the hen house. After they all go outside it seems better, so I haven’t done anything about it. I’ve been considering calling a chicken meeting for them to work it out verbally, but every time I’ve tried to bring it up, they both just squawk and dash away.

I feed the goats. Cookie gets most of the food now. She’s crazy-fat and only cares about getting fatter, even at the expense of Baby Anna and Honey going without breakfast. She’s so enormous that she walks with a waddle – like I had when I was very pregnant. She’s a pain in the neck too. I can’t trust her with Hugo and Paxy – she tries to head butt them and knock them over. My worry is that she’ll step on them and I tell the boys not to go near that one.

Honey is as sweet and kind and gentle as ever. Baby Anna Goat is exactly the same too. When she gets the nerve up to come near me, her eyes roll back with delight in her head and her face gets soft and smooth. She burbs a lot, like goats do when they are feeling snuggly. And she hugs me with her head. She’s lovely. But that’s only when she gets her nerve up to come close. The rest of the time she has an internal war in her head. She tells herself, “that’s Emily – she likes you and she just wants to hug your face. Go to her!” Then her other side interrupts, “BABY ANNA GOAT! – RUN LIKE THE WIND! DON’T LET THEM GET YOU! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!”